Without Her
by mollycullen
Summary: Do you ever wonder exactly WHAT the Cullens were thinkning and doing throught out New Moon? I have, and this is my take on it. A series of different Cullen's POV's from the start until then end of New Moon. Please review-this is my first fan fiction
1. Chapter 1

EPOV

I walked into the front room, calling each of my family members down for a meeting. I had left Bella at her home, she was asleep when I came to my decision. But it was for the best, I had to remind that as I broke the news that had broken my heart making.

They walked in, Jasper with a confused expression, obviously having just sensed my thoughts. Alice, on the other hand, was glaring, her eyes full of pain, of betrayal. She knew what was going to happen, but I didn't want to know.

"Esme, Carlisle, Emmet, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice . . . " I paused, as I nodded to them, thinking of how I should phrase what I was about to say to them, something that would brake their heart, but not as badly as mine.

"Yes, dear?" Esme asked. They all seemed concerned. Jasper's expression was full of guilt, obviously thinking of what he had done.

"I'm sorry-" he started to say, but I cut him off.

"It wasn't your fault Jasper, it wasn't her's either. But it's made me think-" I was cut off, this time by a furious Alice.

"You _can't_! You _don't_ know what _she'll_ be like! You _don't _know what _you'll_ be like! Do you even know what this will do to the _family_?! It will do to _me_, she's my _best_ friend!"

"What?" came the confused mumble from the rest of my families' lips.

"I think . . . it's time, to move again, without Bella." the gasps, the shocked expressions soon turned to pain, or in Rosalie's case, smugness.

"I told you he didn't love her." she said triumphantly, holding up a hand for Emmet to high-five. Emmet on the other hand, looked as if were he human he would be crying. He turned to give Rosalie a disgusted look.

"Edward, you love her." came Jasper's voice, full of disbelief.

"She is your soul-mate, your only love Edward. You can't leave her." Esme told me.

"Rosalie, how can you say that? Bella has been more than pleasant to us, happy, she wants to even join our family and Edward has been coming to terms with that fact. If he didn't love her, and strongly, why would he want her in his life, why would he even have spoken to her in the first place? And as for you Edward, I can't believe you. You think just because she's a human means her love for you isn't as strong, as potent as yours but it must be stronger, seeing as she's not the one that's leaving you. _I hate you!_" she screamed at me, before running up the stairs, up to her room, with Jasper following, before he said,

"She's right." and with that, he followed Alice, because he loved her, he would stick with her forever, he would stand by her every decision, he would never leave her, like I was going to do with Bella. But she move on, the human mind is like a sieve, she'd marry, have children, grow old with someone who could be old and she'd have a normal life with no interference from us, the unnatural evils in the world.

Rosalie was just sitting their, staring at her nails. "I think I need a manicure, one of my nails is slightly chipped."

Carlisle scowled at her, Emmet frowned, Esme did too.

"Edward, you love her, and you said you liked her as much as I do Rose, if that's true, why are you leaving her. I've thought you were smarter than me, you've proved it, said it, but I have my doubts, especially now."

And with that he left, Rosalie by his side. Like I wanted to be by Bella's, but wouldn't because I was leaving her. I wondered whether this was really the right thing to do, but dismissed the thought, knowing that if I did what I truly wanted, I'd be sprinting to my Bella, but she wouldn't be mine for long.

And I was left with Esme and Carlisle, another couple, one that would never break because of how strong their love was. Together, they were making a united front. Together, rang in my head, something me and Bella wouldn't be for long.

"Edward, are you sure you're making the right decision?"

"You love her, don't break that love."

"Look, Esme, Carlisle. I know what a disappointment I'm being, but its for the best. Tonight, with Jasper, it just proved it. We're dangerous, even when we try our hardest to protect her, we still have trouble. Its not right, she deserves a life, free of interference of our kind. A life in which she can grow old, with someone who can do that with her, with someone who she can have children with, with someone that's human."

They listened to what I had to say, knowing I had a point, but they didn't want to let go. Bella was like Esme's and Carlisle's daughter, that they'd never had. One without shopping addictions and self-obsession.

"We have to trust you. Its your decision." Carlisle said, and off they went, leaving me alone, like I would soon me. Forever.

Leaving Bella was going to be hard, no it was going to be worse than hard. It was going to be awful.

How was I supposed to break up with a girl I loved with my entire heart. A person I would die for. Not even the most amazing actor could pull this off.

And I needed to.

It was going to be awful.

But it had to be done.

Didn't it?

Of course it does!

I chided myself. Of course she needed a life free of us. A life untroubled by disaster. Untroubled my my kind.

So I was alone in a room. Left to think of how I was to break the person I love's heart. A person who was sweet, kind and loved me even though I was a monster. A person who didn't deserve to have her heart broken.

But she would move on, live a happy life with me. I winced at the thought of her with another man that wasn't me but it would happen, wouldn't it?

I felt a strange feeling at the back of my mind, as if something was going to happen, as if I was making a choice that would result in a tragedy.

But I was making the right one for her, I was sure of that, wasn't I?

Of course. I told myself, scowling at the fact I was thinking of not telling her.

And I turned my thoughts on to how I was to lie to her.

I felt so sad, depressed, horrible. I was about to lie to my one true love, my only love. But she would move on, of course I never would, but I'd be happy she was happy. I knew I wasn't going to be the best person, especially for Jasper, but I would, or at least I hoped I would move on. But I knew I never would.

Not when I didn't have Bella, by my side, kissing her, my only love . . .

ENOUGH!

I

went to Alice's and Jasper's room first. Alice was laying on their bed, sobbing in Jasper's arms, "S-s-s-she's m-my b-b-best f-f-f-f-friend! W-w-w-what c-c-c-c-can I d-d-d-d-do w-w-w-w-without h-h-h-her?" It made me feel terrible, making her feel like this, I was causing her pain, but it was nothing compared to mine.

"Alice, Jasper, time to pack. Your leaving now, same with Esme, Carlisle, Rose and Emmet. I'll stay behind for a couple of days, to say . . . bye." Alice had recovered enough to glare at me, before she spoke.

"You _can't _do this! You don't understand! _Not one BIT!_ Do you know what will happen?" she flashed images from her visions from her mind so I could see.

I saw Bella in the forest crying, me telling my family I need to be alone, Bella whispering to her father, "He's . . . gone," repeatedly, myself watching lovers and sobbing . . . "STOP! ALICE, STOP!"

"Okay-" she said, before she was pulled into another vision, with me watching.

_Bella was in her bed, large dark circles under her eyes, her skin was pale, paler than even ours, trays of uneaten food lay on the floor of her room, and her expression seemed like someone was murdering loved ones in front of her. Her usually deep, happy chocolate brown eyes were shallow and fulled with grief. She wasn't looking at anything, just staring into space._

_Charlie was downstairs, he was talking to a doctor. Charlie was crying, telling the doctor Bella wasn't eating or sleeping. The doctor was saying things like catonic. Upstairs, in her room, a single tear rolled down Bella's cheek and she seemed to have t fight not to let more fall._

"Don't you see! She WON'T be happy! She WON'T have a happy family! She WANTS YOU! She NEEDS YOU!"

"It won't come true." I whispered to myself, before leaving to go to Bella's house, telling Alice to tell everyone to pack and to leave today.


	2. Chapter 2

PEOPLE! HELP! OVER HERE! URGENT!

Okay, so now I have your attention, and I want to say that I'm actually am really sorry for doing this to you guys because you clicked on this and thought it was a cahpter when it was just an author's note. I know how I hate when people do this, so I hate me because I'm doing this, so you can hate me for doing this because I'm hating me because I'm doing this so it won't any difference for you to. Did that make any sense? I don't know, everyone says that I never make any sense, but enough about me.

I was wondering guys and guy-es what you people think I should do because ... well, I think I have way too much stories so I can't update any of them which is unfair on all of you guys so and I know now you'll hate me, I was wondering whether you guys could maybe, just maybe, vote on a poll and say which story you like best so I would be able to do that sotry, then we'd run a poll again, do that story, and again, and so on.

Please? I know I'm being really evil so I'm really sorry, but I swear I'll update the sotries really fast so if the one you wanted to read wasn't picked, we can do that one after the first one's done or whatever.

Pretty please with an Edward on top? (Come on, you can't say no to that! Its impossible!)


	3. Chapter 3

**READ THIS, DO NOT DELETE!!!!**

**So, I know I've been a total byotch by not updating in forever due to personal reasons, so I'll try to make this as brief as possible. **

**I promise I will _try_ to update more often, but - and I know this sounds so evil and selfish - my friend just started fanfiction, and she's an **_amazing_** writer! She even updates regularly, something I can't exactly say I do, and her stories are _AMAZING!_**

**So can you guys please search _blondeshavemorefun_ (don't let the name fool you, she's AWESOME!!!!) and click on one of her stories? There's only two - _Thoughtful Errors_ and _Truth Conqers All._**

**It would really mean a lot to me, and would definately encourage me to update!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, I'm sorry if I disappointed you by thinking this is another update, but I do have good news!**

I'M BACK!!

**I'm know I've been away for like a year, but I'm back and I want to start writing this again. I've been going through some personal problems, but I think they are mostly gone now and I'll be able to write again. I don't think I can just pick up where I left off, so I have decided I am going to rewrite this story, in a better way with LONGER chapters. **

**I really hope you'll read this new take on Evergreen, I think its better than I've ever written, and I'd appreciate your reviews and takes on what you think of it. It has been hard, but I'd like to thank the people who went out of their way to PM me and ask whether I was alright - not dead yet! Cros fingers, and hope I didn't just jinx myself.**

So please,

**click on this link and read my new take on Evergreen, :**

.net/s/5528091/1/


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